Today begins a new chapter in my life, as I am moving to a new apartment with new people. I have spent the past year living with a couple (this is usually the part where everyone I've told knowingly says "Ohhhhhh..."), who is extremely poor at communicating and being civil, and is altogether uninterested in the comfort or feelings of others. Living with a couple has been a huge struggle because they unite and automatically feel validated in their union that everyone else is wrong and rude, and they create a unified force of negativity and divisiveness with which I just can't (and no longer have to!) deal. It's bittersweet because it also means I won't be living with my best friend, Greg, who also lives in this prison. He isn't ready to move yet, so this means we part ways for the time being.
What this also means: I am going to be living with two new girls, girls I don't really know, but hope to like. They are both in theatre (one girl is an actor, and the other is a costumer), so I feel like, having been around theatre types for most of my life, it seems like a really promising future. I just want to live in a home where the cohabitants actually cohabitate. I want to live with people who understand that me being alone in my room isn't antisocialism; it's restoration. It's me recharging so that I can be with others as my best self. It's hard to be an extrovert with a need for introversion because most people don't really understand it. They assume that if you're a talkative person, you must ALWAYS be that way; not so. I mentioned this to one of my new roommates, and she said she can actually relate, as she's this way, too (hooray!). So, all of this begins for me this afternoon. I have been moving micro loads of my things to the new apartment the past day, and have my BIG moving day scheduled for this afternoon. Again, it's bittersweet, and it's always tough to feel at home in new surroundings, but I've done it before, and I can do it again.
Aside from the new digs, I am at a point, having lived and worked in New York for one full year (today is my ONE YEAR ANNIVERSARY!), in which complacency in my career has become unacceptable. I can no longer go on a handful of auditions a year and be satisfied. I can no longer watch my friends receive their SAG and AEA cards and not be working toward those things for myself. I came here with a purpose. Now that I've given myself time to settle into the city and learn its rhythms, I can say that I am prepared to move forward into greater creative experiences.
I went to a WONDERFUL actor networking event last week with my friend Hillary, at which I met many exceptional artists, professionals, and a casting director. I was on such a high from the event that I suggested we go to the PIT for some improv fun (Hillary has an extensive background in improv, so she was totally down). We played for a bit that night, and I think I met a man who is destined to be very important to me... but that's another matter for another time. :) What that night also imparted to me was a voracious hunger to get back into improv. I took a step back from it this past season, choosing to focus more on promotional work, and possibly, to hide from improv. As a comedian with an extensive sketch comedy background, which has granted me the luxury of edits and rehearsals, improv has intimidated me. I've gotten on stage and fought the process, thinking my job was to get the laughs instead of building the relationships. So, what have I chosen to do about it? STOP RUNNING. I'm tired of running from my weaknesses and am instead EMBRACING THEM. Only in this embrace can I become comfortable enough to acknowledge them, work on them, and eliminate them. So, I've gone to the PIT three nights this week alone, and expect to keep this practice up several days a week until my fears become my joys. I want to be good at this, so it's time to strengthen the muscle. In going to see shows, to jam, and just be around creatives, I've opened up a lot and made many new friends. No more can I hide behind this veil of shyness that has prevented me from pursuing people and opportunities that I've wanted. I am squashing that fear right now. I want to be with people who are like-minded so that we can enrich each others' lives, creatively and otherwise.
To further prove how serious I am about making it happen, I bought a class beginning at the end of May. I met the instructor, who is the artistic director at the theatre, and registered for his class because his technique BLEW me away, and I know it will help me to find things in the scene to follow, connections to explore, ways to just exist in the moments and actually build something with my partner. And how wonderfully improv training can relate to real life: in what ways can I become a better human with improv training? I can be a better listener, I can be a better collaborator, I can be a diplomat, I can support my partners and loved ones, I can say YES and BUILD from there. It's a beautiful thing how art and life improve each other, quite a symbiotic relationship.
Well, that seems to be enough rambling, as I still have SO much sorting and packing to do. It will be a huge day leading me ever closer to an even bigger future. I cannot wait to begin. Blessings of love to you all, my friends and readers. Be well.
Amanda
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